And so we come to the last days skiing and once again its clear blue skies and sunshine. After breakfast we head up Pied Moutet for the last time, and decide to do a few runs over here, unfortunately we are somewhat limited as the most of the snow has now disappeared and many runs are closed. So after a short while we are making our way back over to the main resort side and up to the glacier. At the glacier we have a final blast down Signal, get the chair back up and then catch the funicular to the top of the glacier.
Once at the top we head over to the snow park for a few small jumps, and this time we all stay upright! After all surviving the jumps we make the long run down to La Fee and carry on to the Thuit chair which brings up back up to the Diable gondola. Then it’s up the Super Diable chair and down to the Panoramic restaurant at Toura where the plan is to meet up with most of the club for lunch. Unfortunately the queue for food is all the way down the stairs and virtually out the door, and to make things worse the toilets are also out of order. And to compound things even more the restaurant had the effrontery to put up a sign basically blaming their customers for the toilets not being in use.
Now anybody who is familiar with French toilets will know that they are not built or maintained to a very high standard. In fact I am convince that somewhere in France is a shop called ‘Crap-sanitary-fittings-r-us’, where most of the mountain restaurants go to buy their toilet fixtures and fittings, because they are cheap and rubbish! So is it any wonder that they break so readily.
Anyway we did not fancy queuing for ages for food and were also desperate for some bladder relief so we headed off back down to the restaurant at Les Crètes. Thankfully their facilities were working, but obviously as operational toilets on the mountain were now at a premium, there was a queue! But the relief was worth the wait.
After a pretty basic lunch most of us used the facilities for a second time in the hope we would not get caught short again, as it is quite difficult to ski with your legs crossed. Feeling suitable refreshed and comfortable we headed back up to the glacier for the last time. After a couple of high speed runs down the glacier we then make our way over to the main snowpark area above Toura and have a go on the boarder cross and free cross runs, as these were probably the only runs we hadn’t actually skied yet.
The boarder cross was great fun with some good air to be had in one or two places, the free cross was more like a giant slalom course without the gates. You could get some good speed up carving round the turns, but if you caught someone up you had to sit behind them as attempting to overtake would surely end in disaster for one or probably both of you.
Once we had completed these runs and with the sense of achievement of having skied all there was to ski we decided to start make our way back to the hotel. On arriving back down at Les Crètes again the others were of the opinion that the black run Valatin would be so bad now that they were not going to attempt it and opted to go back down in the gondola. I however, being made of sterner stuff and probably more stupid, was not going to be put off. You can not finish your skiing holiday by getting a lift down to the resort so I headed off for the run. And I can tell you now it was no more difficult than it had been all week, so more fool them I thought as I reached the bottom and made my way to the hire shop to return my skis. So with a slight tinge of sadness and a little tear in my eye I handed my skis back and returned to the hotel. Surely this cant be the end already?
Monday 30 April 2007
Tuesday 17 April 2007
Make 'Em Laugh!
The evening meal on Thursday was quite a hasty affair as most of us had tickets for the Comedy night being held in the Secrets Bar, and we had been told we needed to be in our seats by 9 pm. So by about this time a few of us had made it to the bar and set about occupying as many seats as possible by placing jackets, hats, scarves and gloves on very available spare chair and stool. In fact, by the time we had finished our section of the bar was very reminiscent of an Ibiza hotel poolside that had been invaded by Germans! Within a few minutes the AOAC made up a large portion of the audience as we waited for the show to begin.
At the scheduled time for the show to begin the owner of the bar came up to the mike to announce that the first act would not be on for another half an hour, in the meantime however there was a chance for people to win some free beer if they would come up and try to make us all laugh. Several brave souls did venture up and tell some fairly lame jokes from what I can recall. I think that a member from the club did in fact go up, but for the life of me I cannot remember who. So if it was you, I can only apologies for not giving you credit for your moment of glory.
Eventually the proper comedy began, when I found out who was actually appearing I was quite surprised, for an entrance fee of only €5 I had expected to see some unknown amateurs, but the acts were 2 top stand up comics. They were Dave Fulton, whose humour I was not familiar with but his name certainly rang a bell, and the main act was Marcus Brigstocke, who has been on TV many times and whose comedy I have always enjoyed. As it turned out the 2 guys were doing a tour of French ski resorts and had just travelled up from Chamonix.
First up was Dave Fulton, a scruffy American who was happy to take the p**s out of himself and his fellow countryman, in particular George ‘Dubb’U’, just as much as he was taking the p**s out of us Brits. In particular his anecdotes about coming to terms with British drinking culture were very funny. Also his observations on French hotels certainly hit the mark with us, as he was also staying in what was supposed to be a 3 star hotel. As he pointed out, judging by the standard of his hotel, the French star rating must go up to 12. But if he leaned far enough out of his hotel room window he had a really good view of the hotel he wanted to be in.
The main act was Marcus Brigstocke, who in fact started his comedy career at Bristol University, so once he discovered that quite a lot of the audience were from the Bristol area, he was provided with some additional humorous material, and the fact that there were some snow bladders amongst us also gave him plenty to go on about. He pointed out it was time for skiers and snow boarders to unite against snow bladers, because skiing and snow boarder is supposed to hurt. And I quite agree. Snow boarding hurts, especially when you come into contact with an inanimate object like a T-Bar pylon, just ask Andy Ogbourne, and skiing hurts, especially when you come into contact with an inarticulate object like a snow boarder, just ask Karen and Gary. Whereas snow blading is a doddle, it’s like walking around in your slippers! As Marcus said, it is so easy you can drive your car in snow blades.
All in all the 2 guys were both really funny and excellent value. Once the comedy was over people started to drift off back to the hotel to get some sleep before our final days skiing. It was hard to believe that the week was nearly over already.
At the scheduled time for the show to begin the owner of the bar came up to the mike to announce that the first act would not be on for another half an hour, in the meantime however there was a chance for people to win some free beer if they would come up and try to make us all laugh. Several brave souls did venture up and tell some fairly lame jokes from what I can recall. I think that a member from the club did in fact go up, but for the life of me I cannot remember who. So if it was you, I can only apologies for not giving you credit for your moment of glory.
Eventually the proper comedy began, when I found out who was actually appearing I was quite surprised, for an entrance fee of only €5 I had expected to see some unknown amateurs, but the acts were 2 top stand up comics. They were Dave Fulton, whose humour I was not familiar with but his name certainly rang a bell, and the main act was Marcus Brigstocke, who has been on TV many times and whose comedy I have always enjoyed. As it turned out the 2 guys were doing a tour of French ski resorts and had just travelled up from Chamonix.
First up was Dave Fulton, a scruffy American who was happy to take the p**s out of himself and his fellow countryman, in particular George ‘Dubb’U’, just as much as he was taking the p**s out of us Brits. In particular his anecdotes about coming to terms with British drinking culture were very funny. Also his observations on French hotels certainly hit the mark with us, as he was also staying in what was supposed to be a 3 star hotel. As he pointed out, judging by the standard of his hotel, the French star rating must go up to 12. But if he leaned far enough out of his hotel room window he had a really good view of the hotel he wanted to be in.
The main act was Marcus Brigstocke, who in fact started his comedy career at Bristol University, so once he discovered that quite a lot of the audience were from the Bristol area, he was provided with some additional humorous material, and the fact that there were some snow bladders amongst us also gave him plenty to go on about. He pointed out it was time for skiers and snow boarders to unite against snow bladers, because skiing and snow boarder is supposed to hurt. And I quite agree. Snow boarding hurts, especially when you come into contact with an inanimate object like a T-Bar pylon, just ask Andy Ogbourne, and skiing hurts, especially when you come into contact with an inarticulate object like a snow boarder, just ask Karen and Gary. Whereas snow blading is a doddle, it’s like walking around in your slippers! As Marcus said, it is so easy you can drive your car in snow blades.
All in all the 2 guys were both really funny and excellent value. Once the comedy was over people started to drift off back to the hotel to get some sleep before our final days skiing. It was hard to believe that the week was nearly over already.
Friday 13 April 2007
La Grave
Thursday started a little earlier, as the plan was to get on the first lifts at 9 o’clock in order to get to the glacier as soon as possible so that we could make the trek over to La Grave. It was a bit of a shock to the system to be one of the first ones down for breakfast and sit in an almost deserted dining room, but slowly the room began to fill, and a few us, who were feeling a bit blurry eyed, started pondering on whether getting up early was such a good idea. No matter, just after 9 we were outside and making our way to the lift.
Today we decided to take the Diable gondola as it was thought this would be the quicker route, unfortunately it looked as if the rest of the skiers in the resort had thought the same and we were met by a queue of immense proportions, and worst still it wasn’t moving! However, it was pointed out that no one was actually going up yet, and the only things in the gondolas where supplies for the restaurant at the top. God these French are so on the ball and on top of the game! A few minutes later people started appearing in the bubbles and the queue slowly shuffled forward a la Post Office style, as we snaked up to the steps into the lift station, then snaked all the way down one side and all the way back up the other.
After about 10 to 15 minutes we were in a bubble and making our accent. At the top of the bubble we took the Super Diable chair rather than head for the second stage of the gondola or cable car. From the chair we made our way down to the 8 man chair which takes you up to the base of the glacier. Then up the glacier on the T-bar, followed by a bit of a flat schuss and a walk to the last T-bar. The final stage of the climb is completed by a drag lift with a difference. Here you hang on to a rope and get pulled along behind a piste basher, which is quite an enjoyable novelty. There is however a knack to this ‘lift’ and that is to be as near to the back of the rope as possible, rather than the front where you are right behind the piste basher and get covered in the snow it is churning up. When we disembarked the tow rope we are now at a height of just under 3600m or over 11,000 feet in old money.
Now the adventure began with the long decent down to La Grave. For some of our large group this was old hat, as they had already skied down earlier in the week. For the rest of us this was a step into the unknown.
The first part was quite straight forward as this is a pisted blue run that takes you down to the restaurant at the top of the lift from La Grave. Once at the lift station a much needed comfort break was required by most. The toilets here were quite interesting, as it would appear your bodily waste is just deposited somewhere in the open down the mountain! Which is supposedly environmentally friendly. Also there is a sign in quite graphic English telling you to make sure your aim is good.
This was followed by the obligatory hot chocolate break at the restaurant which also provided a good photo opportunity for many of us. With hot chocolate drunk and cameras put away it was now time for the real fun to start.
Just a short distance from the restaurant you come to the first fairly steep mogul field, which is a bit torturous to get into. After negotiating this you ski down a little further to an even steeper and narrow gully which again is full of moguls. It’s a case of side slipping and stepping your way down in places. But it’s all good fun, as the snow is excellent at this height and the surrounding scenery, if you are able to take your eyes off what your skis are doing and look, is quite stunning.
At the bottom of the gully our little group pauses for a bit of a breather, only to realise that everyone else has headed off and are no where in sight. And as there is no piste there are definitely no signs, and none of us have been here before we are not to sure of which way to go. Anyway we set off in what would appear to be the obvious direction, which is of course down. Eventually we spot some of the others in the distance and start making our way over to them.
They have stopped near the top of a ridge and I assume they are just pausing before descending again, however just as I get to the ridge I realise they are in fact turning back as this is obviously not the way down as it is a sheer drop down through the trees. Still once again the view from here is really spectacular and was well worth the extra effort involved. I then turn around and rejoin the others who had wisely decided not to expend the extra energy and follow me.
From here the terrain does start to flatten out a bit, but skiing is still quite challenging as we make our way down numerous gullies and narrow channels. We do start seeing small signs attached to trees pointing in the general direction of La Grave but the snow is now starting to get very thin in places and rocks and tree roots are proving the greater obstacles on the decent. We then come across a group of snow boarders who have obviously been brought down here by an instructor. Most of the group are sat down taking a break, but when the last guy eventually joins them, he takes off his board and hurls it in to the trees and starts muttering digruntledly (if there is such a word) to himself. He probably wishes he had stuck to skis!
Leaving the happy boarder behind, we carry on picking our way through the trees until the snow just literally runs out. So it’s off with the skis and a walk back out into the open where there is some snow on the ground. We then do the final bit of skiing of our decent and arrive at the mid station on the La Grave lift. We board the lift to make our way down to La Grave, but our fun and games haven’t quite finished, as we get on to the lift Karen manages to whack her head on the door frame and at the bottom I manage to trip over Rachel’s ski poles and stumble out of the lift with arms and legs flaying in all directions, but I somehow stay upright, which is quite a feat when you are wearing ski boots on a smooth concrete floor, anyway the others all found it very amusing.
Once outside the lift station we take in the ambiance that is La Grave which is a pretty little place, but it would appear that the whole village is asleep as there is nobody about, or cars driving around, just a dog barking in the distance. So with all this excitement proving to much we call a taxi to take us back to Les Deux Alpes.
After about half an hour, following a drive down into the valley and back up again through the cloud that has formed just below the resort. We are back at the chair lift at the far end of the resort that takes up to the Pied Moutet and our favourite restaurant, La Kanata. We board the chair and head up over the field where there is still only one horse! Where his companion is from earlier in the week will always remain a mystery. But the meat we had in the hotel on a previous night was certainly suspect!
Once at the top we swiftly head for the restaurant and greet the proprietor like a long lost friend. We settle down by the fire and tuck in to another great meal. Several of us opt for the Plat du jour, which is a type of tarteflette with crusty bread on top, and Rachel has another huge portion of mussels. This is all washed down with a beer or two and the mandatory glass of fiery genepi.
Having finished our by now rather late lunch and with that satisfying inner glow, we said our farewells and started to make our way back to the hotel. So ended another great days skiing. We hadn’t covered a lot of miles, but the experience of being out in the wilderness away from the crowds, the piste and the lifts is one not to be missed. It is definitely something I would do again if I ever return to Les Deux Alpes.
Today we decided to take the Diable gondola as it was thought this would be the quicker route, unfortunately it looked as if the rest of the skiers in the resort had thought the same and we were met by a queue of immense proportions, and worst still it wasn’t moving! However, it was pointed out that no one was actually going up yet, and the only things in the gondolas where supplies for the restaurant at the top. God these French are so on the ball and on top of the game! A few minutes later people started appearing in the bubbles and the queue slowly shuffled forward a la Post Office style, as we snaked up to the steps into the lift station, then snaked all the way down one side and all the way back up the other.
After about 10 to 15 minutes we were in a bubble and making our accent. At the top of the bubble we took the Super Diable chair rather than head for the second stage of the gondola or cable car. From the chair we made our way down to the 8 man chair which takes you up to the base of the glacier. Then up the glacier on the T-bar, followed by a bit of a flat schuss and a walk to the last T-bar. The final stage of the climb is completed by a drag lift with a difference. Here you hang on to a rope and get pulled along behind a piste basher, which is quite an enjoyable novelty. There is however a knack to this ‘lift’ and that is to be as near to the back of the rope as possible, rather than the front where you are right behind the piste basher and get covered in the snow it is churning up. When we disembarked the tow rope we are now at a height of just under 3600m or over 11,000 feet in old money.
Now the adventure began with the long decent down to La Grave. For some of our large group this was old hat, as they had already skied down earlier in the week. For the rest of us this was a step into the unknown.
The first part was quite straight forward as this is a pisted blue run that takes you down to the restaurant at the top of the lift from La Grave. Once at the lift station a much needed comfort break was required by most. The toilets here were quite interesting, as it would appear your bodily waste is just deposited somewhere in the open down the mountain! Which is supposedly environmentally friendly. Also there is a sign in quite graphic English telling you to make sure your aim is good.
This was followed by the obligatory hot chocolate break at the restaurant which also provided a good photo opportunity for many of us. With hot chocolate drunk and cameras put away it was now time for the real fun to start.
Just a short distance from the restaurant you come to the first fairly steep mogul field, which is a bit torturous to get into. After negotiating this you ski down a little further to an even steeper and narrow gully which again is full of moguls. It’s a case of side slipping and stepping your way down in places. But it’s all good fun, as the snow is excellent at this height and the surrounding scenery, if you are able to take your eyes off what your skis are doing and look, is quite stunning.
At the bottom of the gully our little group pauses for a bit of a breather, only to realise that everyone else has headed off and are no where in sight. And as there is no piste there are definitely no signs, and none of us have been here before we are not to sure of which way to go. Anyway we set off in what would appear to be the obvious direction, which is of course down. Eventually we spot some of the others in the distance and start making our way over to them.
They have stopped near the top of a ridge and I assume they are just pausing before descending again, however just as I get to the ridge I realise they are in fact turning back as this is obviously not the way down as it is a sheer drop down through the trees. Still once again the view from here is really spectacular and was well worth the extra effort involved. I then turn around and rejoin the others who had wisely decided not to expend the extra energy and follow me.
From here the terrain does start to flatten out a bit, but skiing is still quite challenging as we make our way down numerous gullies and narrow channels. We do start seeing small signs attached to trees pointing in the general direction of La Grave but the snow is now starting to get very thin in places and rocks and tree roots are proving the greater obstacles on the decent. We then come across a group of snow boarders who have obviously been brought down here by an instructor. Most of the group are sat down taking a break, but when the last guy eventually joins them, he takes off his board and hurls it in to the trees and starts muttering digruntledly (if there is such a word) to himself. He probably wishes he had stuck to skis!
Leaving the happy boarder behind, we carry on picking our way through the trees until the snow just literally runs out. So it’s off with the skis and a walk back out into the open where there is some snow on the ground. We then do the final bit of skiing of our decent and arrive at the mid station on the La Grave lift. We board the lift to make our way down to La Grave, but our fun and games haven’t quite finished, as we get on to the lift Karen manages to whack her head on the door frame and at the bottom I manage to trip over Rachel’s ski poles and stumble out of the lift with arms and legs flaying in all directions, but I somehow stay upright, which is quite a feat when you are wearing ski boots on a smooth concrete floor, anyway the others all found it very amusing.
Once outside the lift station we take in the ambiance that is La Grave which is a pretty little place, but it would appear that the whole village is asleep as there is nobody about, or cars driving around, just a dog barking in the distance. So with all this excitement proving to much we call a taxi to take us back to Les Deux Alpes.
After about half an hour, following a drive down into the valley and back up again through the cloud that has formed just below the resort. We are back at the chair lift at the far end of the resort that takes up to the Pied Moutet and our favourite restaurant, La Kanata. We board the chair and head up over the field where there is still only one horse! Where his companion is from earlier in the week will always remain a mystery. But the meat we had in the hotel on a previous night was certainly suspect!
Once at the top we swiftly head for the restaurant and greet the proprietor like a long lost friend. We settle down by the fire and tuck in to another great meal. Several of us opt for the Plat du jour, which is a type of tarteflette with crusty bread on top, and Rachel has another huge portion of mussels. This is all washed down with a beer or two and the mandatory glass of fiery genepi.
Having finished our by now rather late lunch and with that satisfying inner glow, we said our farewells and started to make our way back to the hotel. So ended another great days skiing. We hadn’t covered a lot of miles, but the experience of being out in the wilderness away from the crowds, the piste and the lifts is one not to be missed. It is definitely something I would do again if I ever return to Les Deux Alpes.
Tuesday 20 March 2007
Heard The One About The Snowboarder & The T-Bar?
Wednesday morning started in much the same vain as previous days, clear sunny skies and up the Pied Moutet, but it was becoming very obvious that the snow was disappearing rapidly from the lower slopes. Still, there is plenty of snow and good skiing to be had higher up, and after a few runs to warm up we head off for the snow park on the glacier.
We spend a bit of time watching some of the young guns attempt various jumps and aerials with varying degrees of success, and we smirk quietly to ourselves every time someone on a snowboard wipes out, before we make our own cautious efforts. We all survived unscathed the first time, but there was not a lot of air under our skis, so we head up again for another go. This time Gary is a bit more ambitious and not quite so lucky. I watch him successfully take off and disappear over the first jump, then he takes off with a bit more speed and air over the second and disappears, but this time he does not reappear for the third jump, instead after a bit of a pause, he is seen walking off to the side of the piste carrying his skis, whoops! Fortunately there is no damage done.
After one more attempt, with more success for all of us this time we decide it is time to move on, but not before we witness what is probably the most bizarre wipe out of the week. Some how Andy Ogbourne manages to manoeuvre his snowboard in such a way that he collides with the support pylon whilst going up on the T-bar! This is all highly amusing to all of us, except Andy of course, but I think he has got over it now. Still, it wouldn’t have happened if he’d been on skis!!
After negotiating the steep and in places quite icy Super Diable black run we settled for lunch at the restaurant near the bottom of the run, most of us that is. Karen managed to miss the track that ran off to the restaurant and ended up skiing all the way to the bottom, so she had to go back up the chair lift and ski the run again. No matter, she didn’t miss out much as service was not particularly swift at the restaurant today.
The afternoon was spent cruising around on the blues and reds in the Toura and La Fee areas before we headed back to the hotel. Today we took the easy option and made our way back to the resort on the Diable gondola.
Wednesday evening was a fairly quiet affair, evening meal was the usual salad buffet, pasta and main course consisting of over cooked croquet potatoes and some indeterminate meat, however it had been noticed that there was now only 1 horse in the field where there had been 2 at the start of the week! Surely just a coincidence maybe, or maybe not?
Following on from the meal, most people adjourned to the bar for a quiz night, whereas some of us thought this would be far to taxing and decided we would rather just kill off a few more brain cells rather than exercise them, and headed off for the polar bear bar.
After just a few drinks we called it a night as the plan was to ski down to La Grave the following morning and this would involve an earlier start than previous days in an attempt to get the first lifts. So it was off to bed for an earlyish night, we must be getting old!
We spend a bit of time watching some of the young guns attempt various jumps and aerials with varying degrees of success, and we smirk quietly to ourselves every time someone on a snowboard wipes out, before we make our own cautious efforts. We all survived unscathed the first time, but there was not a lot of air under our skis, so we head up again for another go. This time Gary is a bit more ambitious and not quite so lucky. I watch him successfully take off and disappear over the first jump, then he takes off with a bit more speed and air over the second and disappears, but this time he does not reappear for the third jump, instead after a bit of a pause, he is seen walking off to the side of the piste carrying his skis, whoops! Fortunately there is no damage done.
After one more attempt, with more success for all of us this time we decide it is time to move on, but not before we witness what is probably the most bizarre wipe out of the week. Some how Andy Ogbourne manages to manoeuvre his snowboard in such a way that he collides with the support pylon whilst going up on the T-bar! This is all highly amusing to all of us, except Andy of course, but I think he has got over it now. Still, it wouldn’t have happened if he’d been on skis!!
After negotiating the steep and in places quite icy Super Diable black run we settled for lunch at the restaurant near the bottom of the run, most of us that is. Karen managed to miss the track that ran off to the restaurant and ended up skiing all the way to the bottom, so she had to go back up the chair lift and ski the run again. No matter, she didn’t miss out much as service was not particularly swift at the restaurant today.
The afternoon was spent cruising around on the blues and reds in the Toura and La Fee areas before we headed back to the hotel. Today we took the easy option and made our way back to the resort on the Diable gondola.
Wednesday evening was a fairly quiet affair, evening meal was the usual salad buffet, pasta and main course consisting of over cooked croquet potatoes and some indeterminate meat, however it had been noticed that there was now only 1 horse in the field where there had been 2 at the start of the week! Surely just a coincidence maybe, or maybe not?
Following on from the meal, most people adjourned to the bar for a quiz night, whereas some of us thought this would be far to taxing and decided we would rather just kill off a few more brain cells rather than exercise them, and headed off for the polar bear bar.
After just a few drinks we called it a night as the plan was to ski down to La Grave the following morning and this would involve an earlier start than previous days in an attempt to get the first lifts. So it was off to bed for an earlyish night, we must be getting old!
Monday 5 March 2007
Would You Like Some Meat With Your Meat?
Tuesday night at the hotel was barbeque night, so a good few of us started off with a little impromptu drinks party in Rachel’s room. At 7.30 we all trooped down to the bar only to be told that evening meal didn’t start until 8 that night. So we all trooped back up again and carried on with another drink and nibbles. At 8 o’clock down we trooped again.
Well I’m sorry to say the barbeque was another disappointment! We did not get the usual salad buffet and pasta dish to start, instead we had a plate of cold meat followed by some barbequed spicy sausages and a pork chop and nothing else, no salad, no veg, no pasta - no nothing. The only thing you could have was more spicy sausage and pork chop, so what the vegetarians were supposed to eat is a bit of a mystery. Another very flat omelette was the option I think. At least the waiters weren’t throwing paddies, as it didn’t matter where we were sitting tonight.
After the meal it was off to Smithy’s for the live music night, and I’m happy to report this was a good night. The band, who were apparently from New Zealand and who’s name I haven’t got a clue, were excellent. They played some great covers, and I can’t remember any of them, all I know is they were very slick and professional and very good value as it was free to get in. Not only that, we were also royally entertained by Duncan’s dancing. He was dancing everywhere and there was no stopping him, and where he may have lacked a bit of rhythm, he more than made up for it with his energy and enthusiasm. That is what a après ski is all about, getting out there and enjoying yourself, so good on you Duncan.
The band played on for most of the night with just a couple of breaks, but by the time they came back on for their third stint the place was rammed again and it was a real fight not to have some drunken knob bump into you of spill beer all over you, so time to go.
Well I’m sorry to say the barbeque was another disappointment! We did not get the usual salad buffet and pasta dish to start, instead we had a plate of cold meat followed by some barbequed spicy sausages and a pork chop and nothing else, no salad, no veg, no pasta - no nothing. The only thing you could have was more spicy sausage and pork chop, so what the vegetarians were supposed to eat is a bit of a mystery. Another very flat omelette was the option I think. At least the waiters weren’t throwing paddies, as it didn’t matter where we were sitting tonight.
After the meal it was off to Smithy’s for the live music night, and I’m happy to report this was a good night. The band, who were apparently from New Zealand and who’s name I haven’t got a clue, were excellent. They played some great covers, and I can’t remember any of them, all I know is they were very slick and professional and very good value as it was free to get in. Not only that, we were also royally entertained by Duncan’s dancing. He was dancing everywhere and there was no stopping him, and where he may have lacked a bit of rhythm, he more than made up for it with his energy and enthusiasm. That is what a après ski is all about, getting out there and enjoying yourself, so good on you Duncan.
The band played on for most of the night with just a couple of breaks, but by the time they came back on for their third stint the place was rammed again and it was a real fight not to have some drunken knob bump into you of spill beer all over you, so time to go.
Thursday 1 March 2007
Best Restaurant Of The Alpes
So to Tuesday, and its sunny skies all round again. In keeping with the previous days we head off for the Pied Moutet as it seems that we have established that this is by far the easiest way to get to the snow. At the top we warm up by seeing who can get to the bottom first and Karen and Gary thankfully appear to be suffering no ill effects from the previous days encounter with the snowboarder.
About half way down the Vallee Blanche run I perform my most spectacular wipe out of the week!! Well that will teach me for trying to be clever and show off. As I’m coming down the slope I see Rob Toy in front of me with his monkey on his head, and just as I’m passing him at sub warp speed, I shout across “good morning” and promptly catch an edge, causing me to go ass over tit in a cloud of snow and flying skis. When I eventually come to a stop, Rob skis sensibly past me and returns the greeting. Do I feel stupid or what? Well if you can’t make a complete ass of yourself from time to time, especially when skiing, then life would just be so much duller.
Following this jolly little episode and after everyone has had a good laugh at my expense, we spend the rest of the morning back on the main resort side with some more great skiing, in particular on the Signal run. Eventually we start heading back to the resort as we plan to lunch at the Kanata restaurant on the Pied Moutet. As we are making our way towards Les Cretes, Gary suggests we give the blue run Thuit a go as we haven’t skied it yet. So we set off and just a little way down the slope, but to far down to change your mind and go back we come across a sign warning you that the slope is particularly icy.
Well, they weren’t bloody kidding. The run down was horrendous, patches of soft snow and then suddenly you hit hard packed ice that you just could not see until you lost control. Not the most enjoyable run of the week by far, But I suppose if you want to be a true mountain man or woman then you have to take the rough with the smooth. At the bottom we all berate Gary for his poor call and suggest he thinks carefully before he come up with more wise ideas
Things pass pretty much uneventfully from here and we find ourselves at the Kanata restaurant. At first we sit ourselves down outside and the table is laid by the waitress. The owner of the restaurant suggest we might like to sit inside as there is a nice fire going, but we decline and ask if he could take some group photos for us instead. He duly obliges and even manages to ’accidentally’ take one of himself. A couple of minutes later the chill does start to set in and we swiftly move inside where we are the only people in the restaurant. What a diference from all the packed ones on the main side of the resort. We settle down next to the fire and spread ourselves out with jackets, gloves and rucksacks scattered around, and our host puts some more wood on the fire and it is all very pleasant and cosy indeed!
By now we have ordered and are sipping away on vin chauds when the food starts to arrive. Rachel, Gary and myself have all gone for the special of moules, frites and beer, and a huge bowl of chips is brought out for us to share. Karen and Les have both opted for an omelette and Steve the plat du jour, which all come with salad so a huge bowl of salad also arrives. Next came an equally large pot of steaming mussels, but this was not for sharing as it was swiftly followed by 2 more. I can honestly say I have never had some many mussels before and they were delicious, of course I ate them all, and for €13 it was exceptional value. The omelettes were also of grand portions and I’m told just as tasty. Naturally the beers and vin chauds were going down quite well also.
After the meal, which was quite some time later, the owner insisted we try some of his home made Genepi fire water and he disappeared into the attic and came out with Perrier water bottles. Well it certainly was not spring water in them as the liquid was cloudy with vegetation in it! He poured 7 small glasses as I think that out of politeness he felt he had to join us. Anyway, in unison we all down this liquor in one, having now tasted it I think that’s the only way to drink it, its certainly not a sipping drink.
Once we had sorted ourselves out and paid the bill we got ready to leave when another 7 glasses of Genepi were produced. Again these were downed in one but this time it tasted a lot better. I think with a bit more practice one could get to like this stuff!! But not today or we would never get back to the hotel, mind you bearing in mind what was probably waiting for us for evening meal that would not have been a bad thing.
Back outside in the mountain air I think we were all suddenly hit by a feeling of extreme mellowness as we all promptly sat down in the deck chairs to take in a few of the suns remaining rays for that day. Whilst sat in the chairs we were joined by a very friendly if some what scruffy dog who took great delight in chasing and catching lumps of snow and ice that you threw for him. This dog seemed so taken by the amount of attention he received, especially from Rachel that he wanted to come with us as we eventually skied off. At this point Rachel, who appeared to be the most mellow of all of us, made some comment along the lines of “why would you need a boyfriend, when you can have a scruffy dog and a rabbit?” and I think she was referring to the battery operated type rather than a fluffy bunny called Flopsy!
About half way down the Vallee Blanche run I perform my most spectacular wipe out of the week!! Well that will teach me for trying to be clever and show off. As I’m coming down the slope I see Rob Toy in front of me with his monkey on his head, and just as I’m passing him at sub warp speed, I shout across “good morning” and promptly catch an edge, causing me to go ass over tit in a cloud of snow and flying skis. When I eventually come to a stop, Rob skis sensibly past me and returns the greeting. Do I feel stupid or what? Well if you can’t make a complete ass of yourself from time to time, especially when skiing, then life would just be so much duller.
Following this jolly little episode and after everyone has had a good laugh at my expense, we spend the rest of the morning back on the main resort side with some more great skiing, in particular on the Signal run. Eventually we start heading back to the resort as we plan to lunch at the Kanata restaurant on the Pied Moutet. As we are making our way towards Les Cretes, Gary suggests we give the blue run Thuit a go as we haven’t skied it yet. So we set off and just a little way down the slope, but to far down to change your mind and go back we come across a sign warning you that the slope is particularly icy.
Well, they weren’t bloody kidding. The run down was horrendous, patches of soft snow and then suddenly you hit hard packed ice that you just could not see until you lost control. Not the most enjoyable run of the week by far, But I suppose if you want to be a true mountain man or woman then you have to take the rough with the smooth. At the bottom we all berate Gary for his poor call and suggest he thinks carefully before he come up with more wise ideas
Things pass pretty much uneventfully from here and we find ourselves at the Kanata restaurant. At first we sit ourselves down outside and the table is laid by the waitress. The owner of the restaurant suggest we might like to sit inside as there is a nice fire going, but we decline and ask if he could take some group photos for us instead. He duly obliges and even manages to ’accidentally’ take one of himself. A couple of minutes later the chill does start to set in and we swiftly move inside where we are the only people in the restaurant. What a diference from all the packed ones on the main side of the resort. We settle down next to the fire and spread ourselves out with jackets, gloves and rucksacks scattered around, and our host puts some more wood on the fire and it is all very pleasant and cosy indeed!
By now we have ordered and are sipping away on vin chauds when the food starts to arrive. Rachel, Gary and myself have all gone for the special of moules, frites and beer, and a huge bowl of chips is brought out for us to share. Karen and Les have both opted for an omelette and Steve the plat du jour, which all come with salad so a huge bowl of salad also arrives. Next came an equally large pot of steaming mussels, but this was not for sharing as it was swiftly followed by 2 more. I can honestly say I have never had some many mussels before and they were delicious, of course I ate them all, and for €13 it was exceptional value. The omelettes were also of grand portions and I’m told just as tasty. Naturally the beers and vin chauds were going down quite well also.
After the meal, which was quite some time later, the owner insisted we try some of his home made Genepi fire water and he disappeared into the attic and came out with Perrier water bottles. Well it certainly was not spring water in them as the liquid was cloudy with vegetation in it! He poured 7 small glasses as I think that out of politeness he felt he had to join us. Anyway, in unison we all down this liquor in one, having now tasted it I think that’s the only way to drink it, its certainly not a sipping drink.
Once we had sorted ourselves out and paid the bill we got ready to leave when another 7 glasses of Genepi were produced. Again these were downed in one but this time it tasted a lot better. I think with a bit more practice one could get to like this stuff!! But not today or we would never get back to the hotel, mind you bearing in mind what was probably waiting for us for evening meal that would not have been a bad thing.
Back outside in the mountain air I think we were all suddenly hit by a feeling of extreme mellowness as we all promptly sat down in the deck chairs to take in a few of the suns remaining rays for that day. Whilst sat in the chairs we were joined by a very friendly if some what scruffy dog who took great delight in chasing and catching lumps of snow and ice that you threw for him. This dog seemed so taken by the amount of attention he received, especially from Rachel that he wanted to come with us as we eventually skied off. At this point Rachel, who appeared to be the most mellow of all of us, made some comment along the lines of “why would you need a boyfriend, when you can have a scruffy dog and a rabbit?” and I think she was referring to the battery operated type rather than a fluffy bunny called Flopsy!
Friday 23 February 2007
I Need A Beer Or Ten
On returning to the hotel we found out that quite a few of the others had gone straight to Secrets bar to take in the Après ski live music that started at 5.30. So as not to miss out we trotted along as well, plus I needed a well earned beer after all the aggro from earlier.
Well I don’t know about the live music, but there was certainly plenty of live talking! As we entered the bar the guy was just finishing a song and then spent the next 15 minutes or so chatting with small audience who had sat to listen to him. I think in the time we spent in the bar the guy managed to sing about 3 songs and spent about 10 minutes chatting between them. Hardly the musical extravaganza I was expecting.
We returned to the hotel and once again got ready for another culinary experience in the dining room. By now it was becoming obvious that the waiters were becoming increasingly agitated by the fact that hardly any of us were sat on the same tables we had been the night before, and as a consequence they were taking the food, ordered hospital style the previous day, to the wrong tables. This was causing them great confusion, and they kept trying to insist that we sat at the same table every night. That just wasn’t going to happen.
As for the food, people were starting to comment on the amount of salt in it. This might explain why the steps to the hotel were still very icy as the chef obviously needed all the salt he could get to try and make the food taste better!
After the evening meal, a lot of us headed for the Polar Bear bar, so called because it had a big plastic polar bar over the door. After whiling away a couple of hours in here with a few beers and idle chit chat, some of decided we would take a stroll to the Avalanche night club and see what it was like. Well the place didn’t exactly seem busy when we arrived, and after a bit of confrontation with the bouncers, Les eventually managed to persuade them to let her go upstairs and take a look. She was soon back down say that there were about a dozen people there and the place was dead, so we left.
From here we headed back up the street and made our way to Smokey Joe’s, it wasn’t exactly throbbing in here either but at least they were playing some good music and the pool table was free so an impromptu tournament ensued. Don’t know who won but with the DJ playing some Black Sabbath and AC/DC at my request I was more than happy and couldn’t care less.
We eventually left when the bar closed and ended up in the Board Room which seemed to be the only place still open. There was just a few French in here with some of their terrible music playing, but by now the beer was really starting to take effect and all was well with the world again and life was just dandy! After just 1 more beer, this bar closed and we were kicked out, so it was off to bed.
Well I don’t know about the live music, but there was certainly plenty of live talking! As we entered the bar the guy was just finishing a song and then spent the next 15 minutes or so chatting with small audience who had sat to listen to him. I think in the time we spent in the bar the guy managed to sing about 3 songs and spent about 10 minutes chatting between them. Hardly the musical extravaganza I was expecting.
We returned to the hotel and once again got ready for another culinary experience in the dining room. By now it was becoming obvious that the waiters were becoming increasingly agitated by the fact that hardly any of us were sat on the same tables we had been the night before, and as a consequence they were taking the food, ordered hospital style the previous day, to the wrong tables. This was causing them great confusion, and they kept trying to insist that we sat at the same table every night. That just wasn’t going to happen.
As for the food, people were starting to comment on the amount of salt in it. This might explain why the steps to the hotel were still very icy as the chef obviously needed all the salt he could get to try and make the food taste better!
After the evening meal, a lot of us headed for the Polar Bear bar, so called because it had a big plastic polar bar over the door. After whiling away a couple of hours in here with a few beers and idle chit chat, some of decided we would take a stroll to the Avalanche night club and see what it was like. Well the place didn’t exactly seem busy when we arrived, and after a bit of confrontation with the bouncers, Les eventually managed to persuade them to let her go upstairs and take a look. She was soon back down say that there were about a dozen people there and the place was dead, so we left.
From here we headed back up the street and made our way to Smokey Joe’s, it wasn’t exactly throbbing in here either but at least they were playing some good music and the pool table was free so an impromptu tournament ensued. Don’t know who won but with the DJ playing some Black Sabbath and AC/DC at my request I was more than happy and couldn’t care less.
We eventually left when the bar closed and ended up in the Board Room which seemed to be the only place still open. There was just a few French in here with some of their terrible music playing, but by now the beer was really starting to take effect and all was well with the world again and life was just dandy! After just 1 more beer, this bar closed and we were kicked out, so it was off to bed.
Wednesday 21 February 2007
Bloody Snowboarders!!
Monday morning and once again we are greeted by blue skies and sunshine, so without hanging about it was down to breakfast for an awful cup of tea and then backup to the room to get ready for another days skiing. Les popped in to ask if I could carry her sack of oranges as she didn’t have room in her tiny rucksack, which is shaped like a zebra and called ‘Ziggy’! Hmmm, very practical then.
By 9.30 we were all set again and decided to head straight up the Pied Moutet as we now realised you could get to it by the Super Venosc chair which was in fact the nearest lift to the hotel. So, with myself ladened down by green grocery we set off. Today our group had grown in size as we had been joined by Lisa, on her blades, the two Andys on their snowboards, I don’t know who let them into our gang but it wasn’t me!!! And finally Malcolm, who for some reason we thought was called Bob?
From the top we skied straight down to the bottom, again the slopes were virtually empty and the snow was excellent. Our decent was a bit slow as we had to keep waiting for those people not using conventional methods for sliding down mountains, i.e. snowboards and blades. They really want to start using proper skis again, and then they might not fall over so much and go a bit faster.
Once we eventually reached the bottom we headed back to the main part of the resort and made our way to the Panoramic restaurant where it was time again for elevenses. So, after a hot chocolate with a splash of Drambue (God! Skiing holidays are such hard work!) we made our way up to the Glacier. At the top of the double T bar we carried on to the far T bar, which is a flat walk and a bit of a pain in the ass. This takes you right to the very top where we took in the stunning scenery, if you like views of snowy mountains this is a good place to come.
After a couple of runs on the top piste, which was a bit hard and icy, we decided to head back down via the red run Dome which joins up with the blue Signal. Absolutely awesome skiing here with flat out big carving super G turns. So we did Signal again. As we had planned to head back to the Panoramic for lunch we had to take the red run Envers du Signal which starts off very steep, narrow and icy. A really good test for your edging technique. This joins up with the red Breche which runs down to La Toura and the restaurant, and this is another excellent piste. All in all Monday morning was a fine morning’s skiing. What a shame it was to be spoiled by an idiot on a snowboard.
After lunch, Les, Karen, Gary and myself headed back up to the Glacier on the 8 man chair. We were sat on the left of the chair and to our right were 2 Brit snowboarders with obviously the i.q. of a pair of primates as the only word they seemed to know that had more than one syllable started with ‘F’ and ending ‘King’. Now I’m not being prudish here I am just trying to demonstrate the mentality of these morons.
When we got to the top of the chair we all skied off in a straight line to clear the lift, however the cretin on our right decided to go immediately left crossing our path and taking all 4 of us out, we all ended up in a heap on the ground and he went on his merry way. What a tosser!! Les and myself were unhurt, but Karen and Gary both twisted knees as going over at such slow speeds meant their skis did not come off. Now the dickhead on the board had in fact not gone very far and was stood talking, or more than likely grunting to his mate, and after Les and I had got the others back on their feet we were all set to confront this knob. Unfortunately I think he had realised this and swiftly slid off down the piste.
Now with the afternoon somewhat ruined Karen, decided to call it a day and made her way back to the hotel. Gary decided to soldier on bravely but after a couple of runs on the glacier it was obvious that he was in great discomfort so we thought it best to head for home too. We managed to get him back to the top of the Jandri bubble so he could get back down to the resort without have to ski the black and now very icy Valatin.
Les and I carried on down, but as this was now the only run open back to the resort it was very busy. However, I was able to negotiate about three quarters of the way down before I heard that all to familiar scraping sound of an out of control snowboarder. Fortunately for me I had just made a pole plant to turn and the boarder bounced off my fist and ended up in a crumpled heap. I must admit I had a rather satisfying smirk on my face. This guy was also another Brit but at least he had the decency to apologies for his carelessness. I got down without further incident and arrived back at the hotel in one piece. And I still had a full bag of oranges in my rucksack!
Now some of you may be thinking that I am being extremely negative about snowboarders. But I would just like to say that I do recognise that snowboarding is now a mainstream activity and not the fringe fad despised by most skiers it once was, and I also know that not all of us skiers are perfect. However, there is still, in my opinion, a small minority of snowboarders who are mindless ‘F’ ‘King’ ‘W’ ‘Kers’ who show no consideration for anybody else on the slopes. But as long as they stay out of mine and everyone else’s way, we will all be happy!
Right then ‘nuff said, the next post will be in a lot more positive and lighter vein!
By 9.30 we were all set again and decided to head straight up the Pied Moutet as we now realised you could get to it by the Super Venosc chair which was in fact the nearest lift to the hotel. So, with myself ladened down by green grocery we set off. Today our group had grown in size as we had been joined by Lisa, on her blades, the two Andys on their snowboards, I don’t know who let them into our gang but it wasn’t me!!! And finally Malcolm, who for some reason we thought was called Bob?
From the top we skied straight down to the bottom, again the slopes were virtually empty and the snow was excellent. Our decent was a bit slow as we had to keep waiting for those people not using conventional methods for sliding down mountains, i.e. snowboards and blades. They really want to start using proper skis again, and then they might not fall over so much and go a bit faster.
Once we eventually reached the bottom we headed back to the main part of the resort and made our way to the Panoramic restaurant where it was time again for elevenses. So, after a hot chocolate with a splash of Drambue (God! Skiing holidays are such hard work!) we made our way up to the Glacier. At the top of the double T bar we carried on to the far T bar, which is a flat walk and a bit of a pain in the ass. This takes you right to the very top where we took in the stunning scenery, if you like views of snowy mountains this is a good place to come.
After a couple of runs on the top piste, which was a bit hard and icy, we decided to head back down via the red run Dome which joins up with the blue Signal. Absolutely awesome skiing here with flat out big carving super G turns. So we did Signal again. As we had planned to head back to the Panoramic for lunch we had to take the red run Envers du Signal which starts off very steep, narrow and icy. A really good test for your edging technique. This joins up with the red Breche which runs down to La Toura and the restaurant, and this is another excellent piste. All in all Monday morning was a fine morning’s skiing. What a shame it was to be spoiled by an idiot on a snowboard.
After lunch, Les, Karen, Gary and myself headed back up to the Glacier on the 8 man chair. We were sat on the left of the chair and to our right were 2 Brit snowboarders with obviously the i.q. of a pair of primates as the only word they seemed to know that had more than one syllable started with ‘F’ and ending ‘King’. Now I’m not being prudish here I am just trying to demonstrate the mentality of these morons.
When we got to the top of the chair we all skied off in a straight line to clear the lift, however the cretin on our right decided to go immediately left crossing our path and taking all 4 of us out, we all ended up in a heap on the ground and he went on his merry way. What a tosser!! Les and myself were unhurt, but Karen and Gary both twisted knees as going over at such slow speeds meant their skis did not come off. Now the dickhead on the board had in fact not gone very far and was stood talking, or more than likely grunting to his mate, and after Les and I had got the others back on their feet we were all set to confront this knob. Unfortunately I think he had realised this and swiftly slid off down the piste.
Now with the afternoon somewhat ruined Karen, decided to call it a day and made her way back to the hotel. Gary decided to soldier on bravely but after a couple of runs on the glacier it was obvious that he was in great discomfort so we thought it best to head for home too. We managed to get him back to the top of the Jandri bubble so he could get back down to the resort without have to ski the black and now very icy Valatin.
Les and I carried on down, but as this was now the only run open back to the resort it was very busy. However, I was able to negotiate about three quarters of the way down before I heard that all to familiar scraping sound of an out of control snowboarder. Fortunately for me I had just made a pole plant to turn and the boarder bounced off my fist and ended up in a crumpled heap. I must admit I had a rather satisfying smirk on my face. This guy was also another Brit but at least he had the decency to apologies for his carelessness. I got down without further incident and arrived back at the hotel in one piece. And I still had a full bag of oranges in my rucksack!
Now some of you may be thinking that I am being extremely negative about snowboarders. But I would just like to say that I do recognise that snowboarding is now a mainstream activity and not the fringe fad despised by most skiers it once was, and I also know that not all of us skiers are perfect. However, there is still, in my opinion, a small minority of snowboarders who are mindless ‘F’ ‘King’ ‘W’ ‘Kers’ who show no consideration for anybody else on the slopes. But as long as they stay out of mine and everyone else’s way, we will all be happy!
Right then ‘nuff said, the next post will be in a lot more positive and lighter vein!
Monday 19 February 2007
You Can't Get A Decent Cup Of Tea!
Day 2 of the holiday and we awoke to clear blue skies and glorious sunshine, and from an initial inspection of the mountain peaks it certainly looked as though the wind had dropped. So, it was with a small amount of trepidation that I went down to breakfast, but there was nothing to worry about. The continental breakfast was absolutely fine. The only minus point, and this is common wherever I have been skiing, except in catered chalets, is that you just cant get a decent cup of tea!
Personally I think it’s high time the E.U passed a directive that insist that all catering establishments throughout Europe use boiling water when attempting to make our national beverage. I mean, in Britain we don’t make French fries without boiling oil or try to cook pasta in tepid water, do we?
By 9.30 most people were assembled outside the front of the hotel ready for the first full days skiing, and various groups formed as people set off on their merry ways. Our little group’s plan was to get the Diable bubble and make our way to the glacier. However, on reaching the bubble we were confronted by a queue consisting of half of Christendom.
Now, we have been skiing a good few years and don’t do queues if we can help it. So our revised plan was to get the nearest drag lift and work our way across the nursery slopes and get the Jandri express gondola. This we did only to find the rest of Christendom queuing for this gondola. Damn all these French day trippers, how dare they come skiing on Sundays! Why can’t they be doing something else, like learning how to make tea properly?
Anyway, undeterred and in order to maintain the entente cordial we decided to give this queue a miss as well, as we realised that the lifts going up to the Pied Moutet on the other side of the resort were running and the slopes looked very quiet and were also bathed in sunshine.
As we made our way down to the bottom end of the resort we paused briefly to show the others the chalet Gary and I stayed in some 14 years ago! Yes we’ve been skiing together for that long; maybe it’s time to publish my skiing memoirs. On reaching the bottom we boarded the chair that takes you up towards the Pied Moutet. This lift takes you over the main road into Les Deux Alpes and also crosses over a small muddy paddock where 2 horses were grazing on a fairly substantial pile of hay. Is there any significance to this observation? Maybe or maybe not, you will just have to keep following this blog to find out.
Once we were up on the Pied Moutet we found some excellent skiing on very quiet slopes with superb snow. This is the type of skiing I like, blasting down an almost empty piste and not having to pick my way through ski schools, snowploughers and ‘Sunday Drivers’ on skis. After an hour or so of this, and following the obligatory is somewhat childish snowball fight, we decided it was time for elevenses. So we headed off for the Restaurant Kanata where it claimed to serve ‘The best hot wine of the Alps’. No, this is not a typo, that is what it said on several large banners at the restaurant. With such a bold claim we were left with no other choice than to put this to the test. So was it the best hot wine of the Alps, well who’s to say? It was all jolly pleasant and is what a skiing holiday is all about.
After our little break we skied back down to the bottom in order to start make our way up to the Glacier where hopefully we might meet up with some of the others for lunch. So, several chairlifts, a bit of walking, the cable car and not much skiing later, we found ourselves up at the Glacier restaurant. The temperature up here was much colder, in fact it was chuffin’ chilly again and something hot was the order of the day. Now I mentioned earlier that we are not really into queuing, but when food and beer is involved I do tend to make an exception, as by now the whole of Christendom had gathered in the restaurant. Following a fairly lengthy lunch break consisting of queuing, a bowl of pottage du jour, a plate of chips and, of course, a beer I felt suitable refreshed and ready for some more skiing.
We then spent most of the afternoon on the glacier, and despite the rather slow and troublesome T-bars, we had more brilliant skiing on some great snow. Eventually, we skied back down to the resort, and we actually managed to stay together this time, had another swift beer and returned to the hotel.
Back at the hotel, I shared my days experiences with several of the others in the Jacuzzi, it was just unfortunate that the sauna was out of order during our stay as that would have topped of a pretty good days skiing. A couple of hours later I was back down the bar with most of the others ready for the evening meal. Now I don’t want to harp on about what was perhaps the only significant negative point of the whole ski trip. But, at least there was plenty of salad for everyone today, the pasta was ok and the meat course was certainly an improvement on the previous night, unfortunately I don’t think I can report the same for the veggie option.
Anyway, with the evening meal out the way most people decided to go out and sample the Les Deux Alpes night life. We started at Secrets, which was fairly quiet until the bar crawl arrived! Things got decidedly livelier, and we informed by our rep that the bar crawl would be moving on to La Luma and then to Smithy’s. Following a lot of debate amongst ourselves we decided we would follow the bar crawl, but as no one really knew where La Luma was, and when we discovered that Smithy’s was literally next door to the hotel, we decided to stuff the bar crawl and went to Smithy’s.
We did have a slight bit of trouble getting into Smithy’s as when we arrived the doormen we struggling to control a bunch a French students! Damn these French people they get everywhere! Eventually we got in and as I entered the doorman greeted me by calling me sir! I normally get told “You ain’t coming in with those shoes mate! Now p**s off!” Obviously my hat gives me an air of authority, and I wasn’t going to put the deluded guy off.
After a few more drinks and with our group slowly thinning out, the die hards amongst us made our way to the dance floor which was already pretty bloody heaving. It didn’t take long before it was virtually impossible to move without standing on someone or knocking into someone’s drink, so it was time to go. “Goodnight sir” said the doorman and I swaggered off down the street in my newly found self importance.
Now Lisa and a couple of others weren’t ready for bed yet, so we made our way to La Luma after all. On entering the bar we found it occupied by about a dozen people and some god damn awful French ‘Europop’ music playing. That was enough for me and off I went to bed.
Personally I think it’s high time the E.U passed a directive that insist that all catering establishments throughout Europe use boiling water when attempting to make our national beverage. I mean, in Britain we don’t make French fries without boiling oil or try to cook pasta in tepid water, do we?
By 9.30 most people were assembled outside the front of the hotel ready for the first full days skiing, and various groups formed as people set off on their merry ways. Our little group’s plan was to get the Diable bubble and make our way to the glacier. However, on reaching the bubble we were confronted by a queue consisting of half of Christendom.
Now, we have been skiing a good few years and don’t do queues if we can help it. So our revised plan was to get the nearest drag lift and work our way across the nursery slopes and get the Jandri express gondola. This we did only to find the rest of Christendom queuing for this gondola. Damn all these French day trippers, how dare they come skiing on Sundays! Why can’t they be doing something else, like learning how to make tea properly?
Anyway, undeterred and in order to maintain the entente cordial we decided to give this queue a miss as well, as we realised that the lifts going up to the Pied Moutet on the other side of the resort were running and the slopes looked very quiet and were also bathed in sunshine.
As we made our way down to the bottom end of the resort we paused briefly to show the others the chalet Gary and I stayed in some 14 years ago! Yes we’ve been skiing together for that long; maybe it’s time to publish my skiing memoirs. On reaching the bottom we boarded the chair that takes you up towards the Pied Moutet. This lift takes you over the main road into Les Deux Alpes and also crosses over a small muddy paddock where 2 horses were grazing on a fairly substantial pile of hay. Is there any significance to this observation? Maybe or maybe not, you will just have to keep following this blog to find out.
Once we were up on the Pied Moutet we found some excellent skiing on very quiet slopes with superb snow. This is the type of skiing I like, blasting down an almost empty piste and not having to pick my way through ski schools, snowploughers and ‘Sunday Drivers’ on skis. After an hour or so of this, and following the obligatory is somewhat childish snowball fight, we decided it was time for elevenses. So we headed off for the Restaurant Kanata where it claimed to serve ‘The best hot wine of the Alps’. No, this is not a typo, that is what it said on several large banners at the restaurant. With such a bold claim we were left with no other choice than to put this to the test. So was it the best hot wine of the Alps, well who’s to say? It was all jolly pleasant and is what a skiing holiday is all about.
After our little break we skied back down to the bottom in order to start make our way up to the Glacier where hopefully we might meet up with some of the others for lunch. So, several chairlifts, a bit of walking, the cable car and not much skiing later, we found ourselves up at the Glacier restaurant. The temperature up here was much colder, in fact it was chuffin’ chilly again and something hot was the order of the day. Now I mentioned earlier that we are not really into queuing, but when food and beer is involved I do tend to make an exception, as by now the whole of Christendom had gathered in the restaurant. Following a fairly lengthy lunch break consisting of queuing, a bowl of pottage du jour, a plate of chips and, of course, a beer I felt suitable refreshed and ready for some more skiing.
We then spent most of the afternoon on the glacier, and despite the rather slow and troublesome T-bars, we had more brilliant skiing on some great snow. Eventually, we skied back down to the resort, and we actually managed to stay together this time, had another swift beer and returned to the hotel.
Back at the hotel, I shared my days experiences with several of the others in the Jacuzzi, it was just unfortunate that the sauna was out of order during our stay as that would have topped of a pretty good days skiing. A couple of hours later I was back down the bar with most of the others ready for the evening meal. Now I don’t want to harp on about what was perhaps the only significant negative point of the whole ski trip. But, at least there was plenty of salad for everyone today, the pasta was ok and the meat course was certainly an improvement on the previous night, unfortunately I don’t think I can report the same for the veggie option.
Anyway, with the evening meal out the way most people decided to go out and sample the Les Deux Alpes night life. We started at Secrets, which was fairly quiet until the bar crawl arrived! Things got decidedly livelier, and we informed by our rep that the bar crawl would be moving on to La Luma and then to Smithy’s. Following a lot of debate amongst ourselves we decided we would follow the bar crawl, but as no one really knew where La Luma was, and when we discovered that Smithy’s was literally next door to the hotel, we decided to stuff the bar crawl and went to Smithy’s.
We did have a slight bit of trouble getting into Smithy’s as when we arrived the doormen we struggling to control a bunch a French students! Damn these French people they get everywhere! Eventually we got in and as I entered the doorman greeted me by calling me sir! I normally get told “You ain’t coming in with those shoes mate! Now p**s off!” Obviously my hat gives me an air of authority, and I wasn’t going to put the deluded guy off.
After a few more drinks and with our group slowly thinning out, the die hards amongst us made our way to the dance floor which was already pretty bloody heaving. It didn’t take long before it was virtually impossible to move without standing on someone or knocking into someone’s drink, so it was time to go. “Goodnight sir” said the doorman and I swaggered off down the street in my newly found self importance.
Now Lisa and a couple of others weren’t ready for bed yet, so we made our way to La Luma after all. On entering the bar we found it occupied by about a dozen people and some god damn awful French ‘Europop’ music playing. That was enough for me and off I went to bed.
Wednesday 14 February 2007
Bath, Beer and Bed (But don't mention the food!)
With the first afternoons skiing done and dusted, and people returning from the slopes in drips and drabs, it was time to unpack and find all the stuff that I really should have worn or taken with me that day, like my thermals and the fleecy thing that keeps my neck warm.
After a hot bath though, my body temperature was back to normal and all was well with the world, so it was off to the supermarket for those holiday essentials, beer, nibbles (lots of them), coke to go in my Bacardi, gin and tonic for the ladies and a sack of oranges!! for Les. Then it was back to the hotel to get stuck into our provisions. We just had time to down a couple of beers for Gary and me and a couple of G&Ts for Les and Karen, and stuff ourselves with a few crisp, nut and olives.
Now it was time to join the rest of the gang downstairs in the bar, for some more beer, G&Ts and a few more nibbles. The time had now rolled on to 7.30 and with gay abandon we all tripped into the hotel dining room in great anticipation of the feast that was to follow. Oh dear!! To say the food in the evenings was a bit disappointing would be a major understatement.
Things did not get off to a good start. The waiters came around and asked if we wanted water, yes we all said, can I have your room number then, meaning we had to buy the water. Is there any wine we asked, yes you can buy that as well?
Now the evening meal consisted of a buffet salad, which was not too bad. Except this first night when there just was not enough to go round, a good number of us ended up with a couple of lettuce leaves and some shredded carrot. Ok if you’ve got pointed ears, a twitching nose, and your name is Peter.
This was followed by some pasta, which was just about passable. We also found on our tables, a piece of paper with a menu on it, which as we discovered, was the menu for the following evening, and we had to make our choice that night. Just like being in hospital, and I’m afraid to say that the main course was just like something you would get in hospital! But all you got was meat and one veg? Tonight’s delight was some carrots and a piece of very fatty pork. I should think the poor pig had died from being obese and unable to move. Not the most appetising of meals I ever had.
To compound things even more I had to ask the waiters three times for another beer, and was eventually told that the barman had run out of glasses. My obvious thought was why doesn’t he get of his ass and collected the glasses off the tables so I could have a beer. A few minutes later, the barman did appear, rather reluctantly, did just that and a beer duly arrived.
Still it could have been worse, especially if you were vegetarian. They were served up what looked like a pancake, a crepe I thought. I was later informed that it was in fact an omelette! Where most chefs would use a whisk to beat eggs, this guy obviously used a rolling pin.
Dessert was passable as you cant go to wrong with ice cream and cheese. I had better add that these were in fact served separately. However, it would have been nice to have some biscuits and not just a plate of cheese. I also noticed that as people were going up for cheese the waiters very swiftly spirited away any remaining bread from the tables.
And that was the end of a far from satisfactory evening meal, could it get any worse? Well keep following this blog and all will be revealed.
Some people now retired to the bar and there was talk about going out and sampling the evening delights of Les Deux Alpes, but generally speaking, tiredness was setting in for most as we had all been up at such an uncivilised hour and all that could be managed was a few games of Pigs and Jenga. But we were kept amuse by Les constantly banging her head on the radiator.
So the first day of the holiday drew to a close with virtually everyone, and I ashamed to admit myself include, tucked up in bed before midnight!!
After a hot bath though, my body temperature was back to normal and all was well with the world, so it was off to the supermarket for those holiday essentials, beer, nibbles (lots of them), coke to go in my Bacardi, gin and tonic for the ladies and a sack of oranges!! for Les. Then it was back to the hotel to get stuck into our provisions. We just had time to down a couple of beers for Gary and me and a couple of G&Ts for Les and Karen, and stuff ourselves with a few crisp, nut and olives.
Now it was time to join the rest of the gang downstairs in the bar, for some more beer, G&Ts and a few more nibbles. The time had now rolled on to 7.30 and with gay abandon we all tripped into the hotel dining room in great anticipation of the feast that was to follow. Oh dear!! To say the food in the evenings was a bit disappointing would be a major understatement.
Things did not get off to a good start. The waiters came around and asked if we wanted water, yes we all said, can I have your room number then, meaning we had to buy the water. Is there any wine we asked, yes you can buy that as well?
Now the evening meal consisted of a buffet salad, which was not too bad. Except this first night when there just was not enough to go round, a good number of us ended up with a couple of lettuce leaves and some shredded carrot. Ok if you’ve got pointed ears, a twitching nose, and your name is Peter.
This was followed by some pasta, which was just about passable. We also found on our tables, a piece of paper with a menu on it, which as we discovered, was the menu for the following evening, and we had to make our choice that night. Just like being in hospital, and I’m afraid to say that the main course was just like something you would get in hospital! But all you got was meat and one veg? Tonight’s delight was some carrots and a piece of very fatty pork. I should think the poor pig had died from being obese and unable to move. Not the most appetising of meals I ever had.
To compound things even more I had to ask the waiters three times for another beer, and was eventually told that the barman had run out of glasses. My obvious thought was why doesn’t he get of his ass and collected the glasses off the tables so I could have a beer. A few minutes later, the barman did appear, rather reluctantly, did just that and a beer duly arrived.
Still it could have been worse, especially if you were vegetarian. They were served up what looked like a pancake, a crepe I thought. I was later informed that it was in fact an omelette! Where most chefs would use a whisk to beat eggs, this guy obviously used a rolling pin.
Dessert was passable as you cant go to wrong with ice cream and cheese. I had better add that these were in fact served separately. However, it would have been nice to have some biscuits and not just a plate of cheese. I also noticed that as people were going up for cheese the waiters very swiftly spirited away any remaining bread from the tables.
And that was the end of a far from satisfactory evening meal, could it get any worse? Well keep following this blog and all will be revealed.
Some people now retired to the bar and there was talk about going out and sampling the evening delights of Les Deux Alpes, but generally speaking, tiredness was setting in for most as we had all been up at such an uncivilised hour and all that could be managed was a few games of Pigs and Jenga. But we were kept amuse by Les constantly banging her head on the radiator.
So the first day of the holiday drew to a close with virtually everyone, and I ashamed to admit myself include, tucked up in bed before midnight!!
Sunday 11 February 2007
Snow, Sun and Brandy for Breakfast
Welcome to my first ever Blog! And my first ski trip with the AOAC, although I am certainly not new to skiing. I just have never been moved to write about my skiing experiences before.
There are probably several reasons for this, firstly, when I started skiing blogs hadn’t been invented, (and I still had hair) or maybe I was to busy writing letters of complaint to travel companies, in particular Crystal holidays! But more than likely, I just couldn’t be assed.
So that’s the introduction over, on with the blog.
Well, it is always good to get a skiing holiday off to a jolly pleasant start, so on the Friday night I met up with Les, Gary and Karen at what is probably our favourite hostelry, The Somerset Wagon in Chilcompton, for some food and a drink or two/three. ‘Start as you mean to go on,’ as the old adage say’s. Well I am on holiday.
Despite a fairly lengthy wait for our food to arrive we had a most enjoyable meal, which was predictably followed by that typically girlie thing where they say “Oh, I’m to full for a dessert, but if you want one I’ll just have a bit if yours!!.” Sod off I thought, if you want some dessert, bloody well get your own.
Well a compromise was reached and 2 desserts were ordered, one for me and one to be shared by the others. Needless to say Les’s spoon spent most of its time helping itself to my cheesecake rather than the communal one!!
After that, it was back to Karen’s where we were all crashing for the night for a full night’s sleep of nearly three and a half hours.
We now move on to stupid o’clock (4.30 am) on Saturday morning, at Bristol Airport where we meet up with the rest of the intrepid skiers from the AOAC. Having checked in bags and skis, it was off to departures security check for the first amusing incident of the day.
Gary had unwittingly left his full hip flask in his hand luggage! So, with his hip flask not being a clear container with more than 100ml of liquid he had a choice. Now, even the most liver damaged hardened drinkers out there would surely baulk at the thought of downing half a pint of neat brandy in one at 5 am in the morning, especially before breakfast. But not Gary, he did what any self respecting p**shead would do. Just kidding, he poured it away, what a waste. You would have thought that with all the other drinks that had been confiscated there would have been some coke he could have mixed it with to make it more palatable at that time in the morning.
Now there’s a business opportunity, a chain of Airport Security Cocktail Bars stocked with confiscated booze and mixers, serving drinks to passengers as they wait to put their coats and loose change in the plastic trays and to take their shoes off. See you all on The Dragon’s Den!!
Things pass pretty well uneventfully as we board the plain and fly off to Grenoble, but hey, what’s this! Snow at the airport, in all my years of skiing, and that’s quite a few I have never seen snow at the airport. Not exactly deep and crisp and even, but snow is snow and we are going skiing, so things are looking good. (Just like me in my hat)
We now pass through an interesting piece of airport architecture, commonly called a marquee and are greeted by the ‘cheerful’ French immigration officer. I shouldn’t think this guy has smiled since he found out Father Christmas wasn’t real. Miserable git. Leaving Monsieur ‘Appee behind we head off for the baggage reclaim and just so we know we are in France the carousel starts, no bags come out and it stops again. How many more times will it do this, well surprisingly just this once?
So now safely reunited with our luggage we board the coach and head off for Les Deux Alpes.
As we travel along the snow covered countryside and make our way up to the resort, the rep briefly gives us some relevant details about Les Deux Alpes, and then spends a considerable time trying to persuade us to part with more money for the bar crawl, an overpriced trip to Serre Chevalier and phone cards.
At about 12.30 pm French time we arrive at the Hotel La Belle Etoile (More about the hotel later)! With most of the group crammed into the reception area and a good few of us left outside we spend about 20 mins listening to even more details whilst several of us crossed our legs and prayed our bladders wouldn’t burst. Eventually some rooms are made available and we are able to relieve ourselves and get ready to go skiing.
Just over an hour from arriving in the resort a large group of us are ready to hit the slopes for a bonus afternoon’s skiing, and we make the allegedly only ‘400 metre’ walk to the lift pass office at the Jandri Express gondola. Do me a favour! If that walk is only 400 metres then I will eat my black hat. Why the reps couldn’t have told us it was easier, as we discovered later, to the walk 200 metres to a free drag lift and then ski down to the lift pass office will remain a mystery.
Anyway, just after 2 pm we depart the gondola at mid station and put on our skis for the first time. The sun is shining, the snow feels good but that wind is a bit on the chuffin’ chilly side. Undeterred we set off en masse for our first run and it feels great. At the bottom of the run we all jump on the chair lift and head back up again. As we gain height the cold stiff breeze turns into an icy blast, jackets are zipped right up, hats are pulled down and some mild whinging starts, the first doubts about skiing being fun begin to enter people’s minds.
After a couple of hours of this, the thrill of skiing down the slopes and the misery of the lifts going back up again, our large group has fragmented into two smaller ones. One group keen to squeeze every last second out of their half day lift pass carry on bravely. The others decide we are cold and are in need of a drink and food. A suitable refuge is found and its hot chocolates or vin chaud and croque monsieurs all round.
Suitably refreshed the general consensus is to call it a day and head back to the hotel for a hot bath and a proper drink. I am still not sure what happened next to the group. It was decided to take the black run, Valatin back down to the resort. I pointed out that in order to avoid the long walk back to the hotel it would be necessary to branch off, before you get to the bottom, on a green run which traverses the nursery slopes and brings you to the Diable gondola near the hotel. This I duly did but to my surprise I found that only Les had actually followed me.
Where everyone else was I do not know. But we weren’t going to worry about it, and we headed back to the hotel, so ending our first days skiing – To be continued.
There are probably several reasons for this, firstly, when I started skiing blogs hadn’t been invented, (and I still had hair) or maybe I was to busy writing letters of complaint to travel companies, in particular Crystal holidays! But more than likely, I just couldn’t be assed.
So that’s the introduction over, on with the blog.
Well, it is always good to get a skiing holiday off to a jolly pleasant start, so on the Friday night I met up with Les, Gary and Karen at what is probably our favourite hostelry, The Somerset Wagon in Chilcompton, for some food and a drink or two/three. ‘Start as you mean to go on,’ as the old adage say’s. Well I am on holiday.
Despite a fairly lengthy wait for our food to arrive we had a most enjoyable meal, which was predictably followed by that typically girlie thing where they say “Oh, I’m to full for a dessert, but if you want one I’ll just have a bit if yours!!.” Sod off I thought, if you want some dessert, bloody well get your own.
Well a compromise was reached and 2 desserts were ordered, one for me and one to be shared by the others. Needless to say Les’s spoon spent most of its time helping itself to my cheesecake rather than the communal one!!
After that, it was back to Karen’s where we were all crashing for the night for a full night’s sleep of nearly three and a half hours.
We now move on to stupid o’clock (4.30 am) on Saturday morning, at Bristol Airport where we meet up with the rest of the intrepid skiers from the AOAC. Having checked in bags and skis, it was off to departures security check for the first amusing incident of the day.
Gary had unwittingly left his full hip flask in his hand luggage! So, with his hip flask not being a clear container with more than 100ml of liquid he had a choice. Now, even the most liver damaged hardened drinkers out there would surely baulk at the thought of downing half a pint of neat brandy in one at 5 am in the morning, especially before breakfast. But not Gary, he did what any self respecting p**shead would do. Just kidding, he poured it away, what a waste. You would have thought that with all the other drinks that had been confiscated there would have been some coke he could have mixed it with to make it more palatable at that time in the morning.
Now there’s a business opportunity, a chain of Airport Security Cocktail Bars stocked with confiscated booze and mixers, serving drinks to passengers as they wait to put their coats and loose change in the plastic trays and to take their shoes off. See you all on The Dragon’s Den!!
Things pass pretty well uneventfully as we board the plain and fly off to Grenoble, but hey, what’s this! Snow at the airport, in all my years of skiing, and that’s quite a few I have never seen snow at the airport. Not exactly deep and crisp and even, but snow is snow and we are going skiing, so things are looking good. (Just like me in my hat)
We now pass through an interesting piece of airport architecture, commonly called a marquee and are greeted by the ‘cheerful’ French immigration officer. I shouldn’t think this guy has smiled since he found out Father Christmas wasn’t real. Miserable git. Leaving Monsieur ‘Appee behind we head off for the baggage reclaim and just so we know we are in France the carousel starts, no bags come out and it stops again. How many more times will it do this, well surprisingly just this once?
So now safely reunited with our luggage we board the coach and head off for Les Deux Alpes.
As we travel along the snow covered countryside and make our way up to the resort, the rep briefly gives us some relevant details about Les Deux Alpes, and then spends a considerable time trying to persuade us to part with more money for the bar crawl, an overpriced trip to Serre Chevalier and phone cards.
At about 12.30 pm French time we arrive at the Hotel La Belle Etoile (More about the hotel later)! With most of the group crammed into the reception area and a good few of us left outside we spend about 20 mins listening to even more details whilst several of us crossed our legs and prayed our bladders wouldn’t burst. Eventually some rooms are made available and we are able to relieve ourselves and get ready to go skiing.
Just over an hour from arriving in the resort a large group of us are ready to hit the slopes for a bonus afternoon’s skiing, and we make the allegedly only ‘400 metre’ walk to the lift pass office at the Jandri Express gondola. Do me a favour! If that walk is only 400 metres then I will eat my black hat. Why the reps couldn’t have told us it was easier, as we discovered later, to the walk 200 metres to a free drag lift and then ski down to the lift pass office will remain a mystery.
Anyway, just after 2 pm we depart the gondola at mid station and put on our skis for the first time. The sun is shining, the snow feels good but that wind is a bit on the chuffin’ chilly side. Undeterred we set off en masse for our first run and it feels great. At the bottom of the run we all jump on the chair lift and head back up again. As we gain height the cold stiff breeze turns into an icy blast, jackets are zipped right up, hats are pulled down and some mild whinging starts, the first doubts about skiing being fun begin to enter people’s minds.
After a couple of hours of this, the thrill of skiing down the slopes and the misery of the lifts going back up again, our large group has fragmented into two smaller ones. One group keen to squeeze every last second out of their half day lift pass carry on bravely. The others decide we are cold and are in need of a drink and food. A suitable refuge is found and its hot chocolates or vin chaud and croque monsieurs all round.
Suitably refreshed the general consensus is to call it a day and head back to the hotel for a hot bath and a proper drink. I am still not sure what happened next to the group. It was decided to take the black run, Valatin back down to the resort. I pointed out that in order to avoid the long walk back to the hotel it would be necessary to branch off, before you get to the bottom, on a green run which traverses the nursery slopes and brings you to the Diable gondola near the hotel. This I duly did but to my surprise I found that only Les had actually followed me.
Where everyone else was I do not know. But we weren’t going to worry about it, and we headed back to the hotel, so ending our first days skiing – To be continued.
Friday 9 February 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)